it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
