Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we have pet lesbian snakes
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
