i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just gargled with NyQuil
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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