I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
