does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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