I'm jealous of your bromance
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
