THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I am one with the molecules
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
