so that wasnt chicken after all
My balls are so social today.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
