I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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