you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she looked like the before picture.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
