You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
