So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
