Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
