Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
