Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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