Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Randomize
