I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
