I don't think brook has ever known best
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
cat food counts as protein by the way
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
