I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
