she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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