the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
