Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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