Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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