I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize