I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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