garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
where does the pee come out of this thing
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
