you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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