You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Shame - the story of my life.
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