took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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