Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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