dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize