so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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