OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
