my vag is so smooth its legendary
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
