He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
