Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
