Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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