everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
