highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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