you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
