you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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