Screwed.edu
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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