Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
