If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
In America we eat man semen.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
