One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
