I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
