Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have feelings that need drinking.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
