I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
