These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
