just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
