You made me cry and you don't even care
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
