She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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