Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
