What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
