Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
we should paint friendship bongs
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