It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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