It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
