It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
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Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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