im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
home. puking in laundry basket.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
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i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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