He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize