Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
