This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
